Après la pluie...

In the course of certain American lives,
way out in the flyover gloom between the coasts,
it's possible to arrive-

through loss of love, through the long, formless shock of watching parents age,
through inadequacies of moral training, through money problems-
at a stage or a juncture or a passage-
dismiss the buzzwords at your peril-
when we find ourselves alone in a strange city where no one lives any longer than he must
and all of our neighbors come from somewhere else, and damn it,
things just aren't working out for us,
and we've tried everything,
diets, gyms, jobs, churches, but so far not this thing,
which we read about on a glossy flyer tucked under our windshields:
a breakthrough new course in Dynamic Self-Management
developed over decades of experience training America's Top Business Leaders
and GUARANTEED TO GET YOU WHERE YOU'RE GOING!

And we go. And feel better. Because there's wisdom there,
more than we gained at our lousy college,
at least, and more importantly there's an old man's face-
beamed in from California by satellite-which appears to be looking at us alone,
the ninety-eight-pound weaklings, and not laughing!

A miracle. Not even smirking! Beholding us!

﹝Adapted from Up in the air.﹞

Almost finished, but seems not get the whole picture yet.
Poor English, and even poor relationship.

Now I finally realize when u rush into something, u may lose more than u can get.

I know I have to get rid of all the chaos.
I know I have to quit getting addicted in the last relationship.
I know I have to look forwards to the whole new life.
I know I have to find my own pace back.
I know, I know, I know.

But I don't know, either.

I don't know why I can't get well soon this time.
I don't know why I fell so deeply, so hopeless n so helpless.
 I just want to leave here, leave all the stuff behind.

I want to escape and I want to find out the exit.
But I am lost.

Perhaps someday in the future, while I am looking back to this,
I will laugh at myself easily for such a fool I have once been.
But I am not well yet now.

I am almost crushed.
How ironic! This was exactly the reason for u to propose to break up.
And now, I am close to the condition while u r away from this mess.

Rescue me.